It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
When the latex is gleaming
and everyone’s beaming cuz Folsom is here!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
It’s the kink-kinkiest season of all.
We’ll scare all the tech yuppies with our packs of puppies
who come when you call!
It’s the kink-kinkiest season of all.

There’ll be poppers for huffing,
and travelers Scruffing
for tricks they can turn in their slings.
There’ll be silk ropes for binding
and pelvises grinding
with hard-ons all cinched in cock rings!

It’s the slut-sluttiest time of the year!
Leather chaps freshly shined, with
a bare-assed behind in
your Mister S gear!
It’s the slut-sluttiest time of the year.

There’ll be parties for hosting,
cock sizes for boasting
of how big a dick you can blow…
There’ll be scary meth stories
and tales of the orgies from
Folsoms of long, long ago.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Many friends we will gather–
There’s no place I’d rather
be than right damn here!
It’s the kink-kinkiest time,
It’s the slut-sluttiest time,
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!