i am #0040466866.
a possibility in my pocket…
march 4 2002
might not change my life.
already the bell has been rung–
dorje sacred cleansing thunderbolt
striking goddess shakti bowl of life.
i live like thunder
flash like lightning
now is stillness as before a storm.
the lotus sitting on the surface
above the clouded water
rooted in the density of clay
is stirred by ripples,
wind across the water.
spring is coming.
i tease the edges of the card
in my pocket,
flicking as my heart flutters.
(i bruised this time
like a junkie.
could not rouse from bed today;
for hours i hid under blankets.)

and now i’ll know.
either the end of as i know it,
or another reason to keep the path,
both ways embrace change:
#43, lake of heaven–kuai–breakthrough.
ten dollars and a cotton-ball later
i stand at the water’s edge
and contemplate what it is
to bloom.