Woken up in a cold sweat
the pillowcase damp and cool
with drool
sticking to my cheek
it’s the first time i’ve slept in my own bed
for more than a week
i’ve been to one coast and back
asleep on airplanes and sofas and the chest of a lover
but now i’m back
in my own bed
alone bed
half-covered with photos and dirty clothes
and the smell of a life
waiting to be lived in the belly
of a new city
it’s a pity
i’ve been ripped from my dreams and contemplations
by the phone ringing me awake
back into another reality i love no less
than the one i left behind me
“try and find me
in two months and i’ll be two
time zones away”

i say
in a raspy whisper to the party
on the other end of the line
“don’t try to stop me”
i mutter to the voice of my mother,
my friends, the phone call
pleading from inside my head
think i’ll just keep lying in this bed
until i hear an excuse to get up
that’s more than a part
of my hometown setup
and definitely not
another phone call
ripping me
from future
dreams.