today i injured myself again
the car door
produced an inch-long scratch
to adorn my ribcage
it is another of the daily trophies
i seem to accumulate
no matter how hard i try
every day brings
                    a scar
and my body don’t heal
like it used to
yesterday it was
a hangnail
which kept me thrashing half the night
waiting for the pain
                    to stop
but of course
it never does
funny how my blood
is spilled so easily when
my emotions
are more frequently
          injured
perhaps
i pay in flesh
what i feel inside

the painting
locked in the attic
is my body and
the debaucherous dandy
is my heart