So maybe i feel
             cleaner
Today
As i walk again down this carpeted hallway,
(This building used to be a hotel,
      And perhaps for me, it has remained as such.)
Fishing the keys out of my pocket another time,
i think of this as a vacation,
A pleasant diversion i’ve lived
For a little bit of year.
“It’s stifling in here,”
      i tell him–
Maybe it’s just the heat,
Maybe it’s just me.
Have i smothered myself
In dreams of comfort?
“May the baku devour them,”
i whispered on the couch before slumber:
“If they are not true, then let them be taken.”
And in the sober light of day
i am reminded–
In the absence of dreams
There is still–
             perhaps–
Inspiration.
Inspired by a bigger game,
i have thrown away
All my comforts–
There is a certain joy
In destruction,
Especially if it serves a purpose…
But having (once again) torn down all my walls,
i am surprised by the resulting emptiness–
Not around me,
But inside me.

And i am reminded then
Of simple metaphysical law:
When you create a void,
Mind what you fill it with.
i choose love;
Love being my only choice
(It’s in the stars, in the cards, you see,
This child of Venus with wings
Of emerald fire)
Though now i must find it
Alone.
For almost a month now
i have lived out of suitcases,
Sleeping here and there,
These hotels and hovels
On my tour of myself.
But the locks have changed–
So now i am locking myself in.
Leaving the apartments that were a hotel,
Going back to the apartment
Which for me has been a hotel,
And calling it home.
For me.
The bedroom has been empty,
And now it is time to fill
Such a container
With love…
For myself.

Child of Venus,
This is your choice.
The trip is over.
i am moving day
Into night,
And in that darkness,
Alone in the void,
i have found myself…
Waiting.