At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light.
As I have come to realize my own identity as a lunar deity
I also realize that my instinct to reflect the light of others
Is largely only that–instinctual–
And thus, the truth of my survival
Must rely on something deeper
And more personal.

At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light;
As someone who made the semi-informed choice
To marry a solar deity,
I am all too aware of society’s clamoring
To worship and amplify the ego-driven active principle,
To offer the award of (light) praise where merit has not been shown,
Where existing power rewards its likeness simply for existing.
I reflect, but I will not inflate–
Lunar power does not rely on placating narcissism.

(When a lunar god marries a solar king,
One can expect some conflict.)

At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light;
As the son of an astrophysicist,
I intuitively understand some little about the cosmos,
Even as my paternal fountainhead
Fiercely denied the scientific facts of climate change,
And instead embraced a mythical Sky God
Who inexplicably deserved a validity
That Father refused to award any and all other mythical figures preceding, concurrent, or following in the historical record.
I see only stories
Without authors or objective merit for worship.
I am, myself, a lunar deity!
Why give others station above my own, when I know for myself how fiercely I have fought to survive for only this long–
Mind you, not even the blink of an eye to countless other deities–
Yet to know that for myself, my own experience is the most valid, and
Therefore worthy of the most reverence;
For if I do not hold onto and protect my own story as holy,
Who would step forward as my apostle?

At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light;
I am, I was told,
“Mercurial as fuck”
Which I find as painfully accurate as I do plaintively hysterical;
What Mercury the element
And Moon the demi-planet have in common
Is a steady and thoroughly documented state of inconstancy,
A cycle which can be both tracked and (in some senses) relied upon,
Yet rarely if ever truly understood or accounted for
By those who only observe
(And in some cases, even we who experience or act firsthand).
Your telescopic view can never account for the realities
Which are typically closer than they appear.

At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light;
For if I (as with so many of my forebears) have been raped and/or ignored
For ages spanning into centuries–
And nonetheless maintain my fixed point in the cyclical heavens–
Doth this not prove unto you
The sacred, holy, occult and maddening power
With which I was born–
The Truth which proves my most powerful claims to divinity?
The capacity to maintain a personal centering
Amidst the chaos and cruelty of an external reality
Which at best often seems uncaring
And at worst, acts predatorially–
Is this not in and of itself
Worthy of worship and veneration?

At 45 years of age,
I have become convinced that the moon must possess its own inner light.
Furthermore, the moon
(And all satellites such as myself)
Can only sustain existence by self-devotion.
The day that the moon questions itself,
We will lose the most powerful light
In all the heavens.

I am a lunar deity,
And as I wax and wane throughout my years
I take comfort in knowing that
Everything is a phase.

I am Selene, and I am also Pan,
And I will dance through the dark nights of my soul,
Pure and unmolested.

Χαίρε Σελήνη, Μητέρα των
άτακτων

Chaíre Selíni, Mitéra ton átakton

Ακολουθούμε τον δρόμο της έμφυτης και παρεξηγημένης αλήθειας.

Akolouthoúme ton drómo tis émfytis kai parexigiménis alitheias.